Ordinary life is interesting to me.
My journey so far has been made up of happy accidents that when looking back have always led me to unique discoveries and some invaluable life lessons.
Recently, I have started to reflect on this humble trip of mine. In telling my stories about things that happen to me or things I observe, people say that they are not so ordinary and that I should share them on a larger platform. I would always brush it off because I truly think – who would want to hear my stories?!
One of the main goals of mine coming out of 2017 (more on that later) was to follow my passion.
I asked myself – when am I my most authentic self?
My gut reaction – when I am writing and taking pictures. It has been the underlying thread of my life that I usually tuck in a neat little box when life/work take a front seat.
But things kept happening in my life that were trying to steer me back onto this path. I am finally taking the hint and I am going to start putting it all out there. Most of my
experiences have a kismet or spiritual undertone. Like there is a higher power at work causing the people I meet to wonder into my life (for a minute or longer) or a situation I observe. One of the qualities that I do pride myself on is the ability to have a conversation with anyone.
So this will be an area where I share my journey – wherever it may lead. Some stories may be sad or weird. Some sarcastically observational. Others will be just things I find interesting. All with the purpose of getting you to ask yourself some questions about your own journey. I don’t tout myself as the next guru (I am not Oprah and am still trying to figure out things for myself; although I did catch her and her staff’s attention with my writing!) but I think these things keep happening to me for a reason.
Why the Accidental Empath?
How did this all happen and where did I come up with this name. Well all of this was just that – an accident. I think a lot of us are spiritually curious or are seeking some level of calm or deeper meaning.
What is MY purpose?
Am I living my best life?
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a few years ago after going on a very eye opening health journey. When you can’t figure out what is wrong with you and they start testing you for everything from Lyme’s Disease to a brain tumor – your mind starts to go a little crazy. There had to be some reason why my body had declared war on itself. I was experiencing a kind of exhaustion that I couldn’t explain. Wrapped in a cloak of intense pain that can leave as quickly as it came, aches, memory issues, slurred speech, intense sadness. I was convinced I was either crazy or ready to check out. When I received the diagnosis I thought “This is great!” – what I have has a name. I will take some medication and I can get on with life. But the limited amount of doctors that actually treat this is small in most areas and the ones that do have one treatment plan – pain management. Pain medication and I DO NOT get along. Not in an addictive Intervention way but more so in a run to the nearest bathroom – this is going to end very badly kind of way. I tried the medications they prescribed and after a lot of time spent bowing to porcelain or having stomach spasms for hours – I called it.
So I started doing my own research. Researching alternative treatments. Holistic treatments. My intense search for an answer made it sound like I was about to book a room at Canyon Ranch or Passages Malibu. And the honest truth is – I just don’t have that kind of bank roll. So I continued the research. Massage therapy. Reiki therapy. Acupuncture. Aromatherapy. Healing Oils. Crystals. Wait……what? What is a sparkly rock from the earth going to do? Am I a step away from wearing only organic materials and constantly checking if my chakras are in line before making a decision?
The short answer – yup.
I knew there had to be a reason why my body declared war on itself. If I needed to start investigating zen treatments, meditating with candles, doing light therapy – I was all in. It was my own health decision. And if it began to work I would go all in (whatever ALL IN meant to me). I started very lightly – Epsom salt baths (Pinterest has got stress relieving remedies galore), healing candles, different types of therapy. I even went to an alternative medicine woman who “prescribed” flower elixirs to me. Were you aware Cherry Plum elixir existed and relieves anxiety? Well now you do. She also touched upon past life transgression and spirit. Maybe it was the magical flowers or the fact that I followed an 80 year old woman to the back of a 200 year old house and felt like I was about to reenact a scene from ‘The Skeleton Key’ but I needed to know more. This is where things started to get interesting. And it really began to open up a whole new way of thinking.
When I first was diagnosed, I must have bought every book and read every online article I could find. I joined a few Facebook groups to find out worked for others. And some of the articles mentioned the word – empath. I had never heard of it before. So down another path I went into researching what that even meant. There were some medical articles that showed a correlation between Fibromyalgia and empathy or intuitive traits. I have always experienced something called mirror-touch synesthesia. I can feel the pain of others (which is why I have a difficult time watching horror movies or watching the show Jackass). I hurt when others hurt. It started to cross over into emotional hurt as well. I ignored it for a long time but once I read these articles and put it together with my diagnosis – it was like connecting the tracks that my train was on.
I am still on this journey and when I think I have got it all figured out – I realize I don’t. And that is ok. You have got to give yourself a break. It’s ok to not be ok sometimes (or most of the time). It’s ok to want to burn candles and use magical rocks to feel better. It’s also ok to curse like a sailor, still be your own level of zen and still look at everything as something new to learn.
So that’s where I am at. Still learning and growing. Trying to find answers and finally opening up my eyes to this path that I have found.
