As the Christmas music starts to fade and we enter this transition into the next year, it’s basically like we are living in purgatory. There is a meme that is probably blowing up your feeds right now:
“That time between Christmas and New Years where you don’t know what day is it, who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing”
We are all living it right now. I know I am. The excitement and magic of Christmas is over. Crazy sales in the stores with everything being torn apart like an episode of the Walking Dead. Everyone’s cheer level has decimated and now we’re all in a self imposed limbo where you either have to work in a skeleton crew staffed office or go on Day 6 of wearing mismatched pajamas while sustaining life on a menu concocted by Buddy the Elf consisting of leftover cookies and random hors d’oeuvres and binge watching Netflix (I mean…have you seen Bird Box?!). That’s if you’re lucky. It’s just a weird time of year. Not only is it sandwiched between two major holidays, but it’s the end of the month and a year. So basically the apocalypse. There are those few who vacation during this time and jet set to exotic locations and live the Instagram life. I hate them (not really but for right now – I do). But I am trying to keep it real for the rest of us.
So why is this year so rough? There are extreme highs and lows. Complete gluttony and excess. It can also shine a giant spotlight on what is missing – family, friends, money, time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the giant downward spiral of it all. It’s a time where you can feel the most overwhelming love and also could be at your loneliest. The holidays need to come with a warning label. Or at least a survival guide. Forget Elf on the Shelf. I am creating something for adults for the month of December. More on that later.
What can you do to cope? I had a mini melt down at 1:00 a.m. in my bedroom last night. Complete with ugly cry and enough emotions that I have had bottled up for about 3 months. I am better today. If I have learned anything from this journey so far it’s that I need to communicate better. I am great with written words but speaking has become rougher since being diagnosed with fibro. Sometimes I stutter. Sometimes I forget simple words or someone’s name. I don’t know why. It’s something I am focusing on to figure out this upcoming year – The why. But more importantly I am putting energy into – The cope. I can’t change the cards that were dealt. And that is ok. I have a lot to be thankful for. That is where my energy will go. The gratitude and abundance that I create every day. Sometimes I am a beacon of light and others I am a black cloud of angst. The balancing act of dark and light is what everyone struggles with.
Maybe that is the true meaning of this time of year. In a time centered around all that glitters and is sugar covered with marshmallow and peppermint before we move into the darkest part of the year, we need to sort through it all. Acknowledge the demons but know that we have a chance to focus on the light.
We have a little more than two days left this year before we are hurled into another cycle. Here are some little things I am going to do to bring some clarity.
- Cleaning. Somewhere this year I have found calmness in cleaning. I used to hate it. Loathed laundry, scrubbing, straightening, vacuuming, mopping – you know basically everything. But I changed my mindset on it. By cleaning and actually taking pride in it, I am showing gratitude towards my home. Towards my family and our hard work. So if cleanliness is really Godliness, I am all in. Scrub brush and all.
- Cleansing Bath. (Yes you read that right) Part of my journey this year was diving head first into the metaphysical world. Crystals, candles, rituals, oils. I am in on all of it. Some of it is intense. Some of it definitely feels like I am reenacting a scene from ‘The Craft.’ But some of it brings be a sense of calm that I have not found anywhere else. So if I need to burn some sage to find my zen – I am doing it all! I plan on sharing what I have learned (and am learning) in some upcoming posts. Maybe we all could use some more zen (or at least a crystal).
- Writing. I am preparing content like crazy. It’s definitely the procrastinator in me. I thrive on a deadline. Apparently the deadline I needed was the end of the month/year. Knowing that I have created a platform to share my journey is really firing up my little soul right now.
- Relaxing. I am giving into random naps. Not beating myself up about eating something sweet. Embracing leggings. Snuggling with my loves. I am taking it all in. This calmness is something I am using to recharge. We all need it. People relax in all kinds of different ways. I have found that keeping it as simple as possible works best for me.
I certainly know nothing about what is yet to come. But I can say one thing for certain – it will get better. Hang in there. Eat a cookie and sage something. Or snuggle with your people. Go outside and shout at the top of your lungs. But know – it will all be ok. Just look for the light.
xx – AE
